Confession time...

As I write this, I am still extremely tired from the events of the week, weekend, and night...

Yesterday was a typical Monday for me. I hate to say it that way, but typically on Monday's I am exhausted and not very excited about beginning a new day(how terrible, I know). Yesterday was no different. I got up late, of course, and explained it away to the fact that I had worked hard all week without a day off, putting in long hours at two away football games in a row, followed by a morning on Saturday of injury clinic that ran into the afternoon, followed by kids that had not seen me, preparation of a children's church lesson, Sunday events which are full of meetings, worship, and all kinds of things to do except rest. So, instead of getting up early enough to start my morning in God's word like I know I should (and love to do), I got a few extra minutes of sleep. The morning did not get any better, as Rick and I had to carpool to get vehicles picked up from being worked on, dropped off to be worked on, kids to school, an extra trip back home b/c we had forgotten things, etc. The day progressed into another meeting, late afternoon and finally bedtime. Once again, because I was completely exhausted to the point that I literally did not feel I could hold my eyes open, I went to bed and even prayed, giving God an excuse of why I would read my Bible in the morning. I was just physically and mentally exhausted and needed my rest! I mean, I deserve that, right?

WRONG! At 12:45, Aiden woke up crying for an unknown reason, which woke Allee up. Aiden went back to sleep, but Allee was thrown into one of her terrors that we have experienced previously, but not recently. To make a longer story short, the last time I remember looking at the clock it was 2:00 a.m. and she was still crying! I have no idea what time I finally went to sleep.

CONFESSION--All I could think as I lay there helplessly trying to calm her was, "Wow, I deserve this one." I mean, think about it. I gave up what would have taken me maybe 15 minutes at most of the reading of God's word for what I thought was going to be more rest. Boy was I wrong. God showed me that if I short change Him, I will not win. I lost over an hour of sleep more than what I would have lost had I stayed up a little longer and studied. But, at that moment before bed, I just felt like I couldn't go on! Like I deserved to get rest. WHO AM I to think I DESERVE anything? God gave his only son, JESUS, to die for me that I may live and here I was having a pity pat party because I had not gotten adequate rest. What if Jesus had of decided that he couldn't go on when he had been beaten and was carrying His own cross to be crucified? When God revealed all the feelings to me, I felt so small. All He wants from us is to give of ourselves. Sometimes, that may mean giving up something else! What will it take for me to realize that? I wasn't even willing to give Him a few minutes of the "leftover" time that I had last night! So, that's my confession. We are not all perfect and we all make mistakes, but thank God He reminds us when we do so that we can ask forgiveness and strive to do better the next day!

I am still very tired, but God is the very person who can restore my strength and I am counting on Him and only Him to do that today.

May God bless you all as you have your "Mondays."